What Have You Made Yourself?

It was early Sunday evening, and you were about to hit the sack. It would be better to wake up early and stretch your limbs. And then jog for thirty minutes. You'll feel good, even think straight. It will also keep you going for the entire day. Monday is the first day of the working week, and you're proud about this routine. You've been doing it since last year.

You became wistful when you lied down on bed. Life was simpler back then. What had you made yourself? You managed to fix your bed before you went to school. You finished your papers ahead of the deadline. And you had time for online games. It was a healthy addiction, a few games of "Deal or No Deal" and "Family Feud" every other night. There were moments when your mother was annoyed at this habit of yours, when you were supposed to clean your room. You happened to enjoy the moment, but you were quite unaware that you liked competition. This would keep you high.

The routine changed a bit. You would play a game if you weren't tired enough. And you would forgive yourself for not fixing your bed now and then. You would be doing nothing during some weekends, and you wouldn't be guilty about it. But it worried you. You were twenty five years of age. You must have lots of time for socialization. And you don't mind a few hours of sleep on certain days. This was what your made yourself, and you wondered if it was a good thing.

How will you make yourself

Your desk job is not bad, as long as you pay the rent. And you're saving for your first holiday. You haven't thought about it back then, ignoring the thrilled comments of your housemates whenever they were having the time of their lives in a foreign land. You have been close to your parents, and you were afraid of separation anxiety. It amused you that it was no longer the case nowadays.

You called your mother the other day, and told her about your plan for a holiday. You wanted your parents to join you. She was delighted, but asked you if you ever thought about your friends. You haven't been in touch with your housemates for more than a year. You were occupied with work. (And how time flew fast.) You would be thinking of paying a visit to the university, hoping to meet a familiar face. Aside from your instructors, you were thinking of someone else.

You're also considering other options, but it won't mean looking for another job. You are still undecided about a graduate degree. (You toyed with the possibility of an academic career, but you swore off paper writing during your final year.) You liked to join a campaign, where you wanted to expand your network. Last but not least, you wanted to learn a new skill. It must be related to technology, as you're struggling to keep up with the latest updates.

You were about to think of other things when you felt something. Your eyes were getting heavy. You have no idea of what you were about to think next, but you would worry about it next Sunday.